Chris and the Spencer Mansion
by hakass
Summary: We interview fellow STARS member Chris Redfield and ask him for the real deal on the Spencer Mansion incident. Review this if you have time.
1. Ma' name's Chris

Okay, it's been awhile now since I've been in any real action and I'm getting bored out of my skull and, since I'm here, and I'm talking; allow me to run through what really happened at the Spencer Mansion back in my STARS days. It was the first real biohazard situation. Ever since then Raccoon City has been a total mess. It's like you can't walk out of your house for a carton of milk without being jumped on by a walking corpse. Oh right, my names Chris Redfield by the way and before I go on, please keep in mind that I am slightly retarded. I mean, I have a low IQ, but the rest of me's good. Right, so about that Spencer Mansion thing…

So I guess the whole involvement started when I got kicked off the Air Force back in my piloting days. I got caught smoking pot in a cockpit and was immediately removed from the institution. It's ironic since I spend most of my time high anyway. I guess they didn't realise that. After that was out of the window I was more or less totally out of it with no idea where to go or what to do. That was the case until I met this old dude named Barry Burton. He and I got to talking and…one thing led to another, and before you know it, Bam! I was a member of the Special Tactics and Rescue Squad. Excited for the first few weeks in my new position, I did everything they told me to. Nice simple jobs like getting the coffee and stuff made it an easy work to fit into the whole military mode. I guess I was fortunate enough to meet someone who gives me a highly ranked job position out of the blue. You'd think there was a catch? Oh yeah, there is. The catch in this case is The Spencer Mansion.

July 1998. We get a call in about our dumb ass Bravo team going missing somewhere in Raccoon Forest. They were sent out a couple months back to scope around the area after hearing reports and rumours about people actually being attacked and stuff deep within the forests. I was pretty amazed at how five highly trained STARS members could go missing on a simple stop and search mission…but you see that's what I love about the media. Now, had they have used the more accurate word of "Eaten" rather than "Attacked" we would have told the STARS head of department where to go and I would have stayed at home and completed the last level of Alone in the Dark. Instead my entire Alpha team decide to check out what happened to the missing dudes and play the hero's. At the time, I thought nothing of it. The second I was told we got to ride in a helicopter I was all excited again. If I could go back though, I would have just stuck their faces on a milk carton and waited for a call. 

Before I knew it I'm sitting in a helicopter with my team. I'll run you through them now quickly. Piloting the chopper was our main shit bag Brad Vickers. Personally, I always hated this guy. The man just couldn't stop tripping out. He almost cried when we told him about the missing Bravo team and we had to blackmail him before we got him to fly the damn helicopter.

Next up was little Rebecca Chambers. At first I wondered why hire a girl that's still in high school to work for STARS. Though I grew to realised that very day, I would have died without her and her piano playing slash V-jolt mixing skills. I have a disability in that I am unable to do things myself, so I just let her do it all. It all worked out in the end. I left without a scratch; she got shot in the arm. Fair trade.

Then you have our good old friend Albert Wesker who led the Alpha's at the time. I'm not gonna lie to you, I totally respected this man at the time even though he turned out to be Lots of censored swear words. Phew, glad I got that out of my system. I mean, lets just sum it up. Anyone who wears shades to a mission executed in the middle of the night…is a retard. His story ends well in the end with a slight hint of irony, but I'll tell you about that later. I don't want to give to give too much away, but I'll tell you this. He turns out to be a double crossing son of a fool and sets his Tyrant creation thing on us. His Tyrant thing however is a bigger dumb ass than he is and kills Wesker first. Then we kill the Tyrant and escape Erm…did I just ruin the…aw crap. Okay, ignore everything I just said. I made it all up. Seriously.

Anyway, sitting beside me was my good man Barry. I had a tendency to call him "Mr. Burton" since he was like…a gazillion years older than me, but I got over it. The man did a lot for me. He got me off pot, recruited me onto STARS; gave me the opportunity to witness the most horrific and traumatizing experience of my life that has scared me and terrified me to my very soul. So technically I should be thanking him…

Finally there's Madam Jill Valentine. Hot damn this chick was fine. I couldn't admit it back then since I worked with her and it was "against the rules" and stuff, but oh my god! Every time we would go on an assignment I would think nothing more than to get onto her. To top it off, there were so many bedrooms in that Spencer Mansion it was as if god was giving me some sort of sign. Sadly, making love to her and having a zombie try to eat you at the same time would have ruined the experience. So I let it go that day, but I hear she's still alive so…who knows? What always bugged me though was that she always had an advantage over me. Albert would always assign her with two extra item slots, a 9mm Beretta and a lock pick! What did I get? Like…two less item slots and a stingy little knife from Wesker's kitchen. That's what. It's as if they wanted me to die or something. I'll let the lock pick thing go since I have no idea how to do it. I'll stick to my usual ways of finding coincidentally placed small keys to open doors. Works every time.

So anyway, we're flying through the air in the helicopter. Over Racoon Forest trees and a lot of other boring scenery. I was on the brink of falling asleep 'till I get a walloping in my ear from Jill's "Look! Over there!"

Low and behold…there was smoke coming from a source on the ground. At first I thought it was a chimney or something which totally pissed me off. Right as I was about to bitch slap Jill for being so stupid and waking me up, I notice this messed up helicopter on the floor producing the smoke.

In mere seconds our helicopter was on the ground. We all climbed out and began striding through this long ass grass that was waist height. Gradually we approached the wrecked helicopter, wading through the tall blades of green. I began to hallucinate and imagine how much money I would make if all these 3 ft grass blades were marijuana plants. Sadly, I didn't have time to calculate my profit as we had reached the abandoned chopper. After examining it, I realised there was a logo on the side. In large block capitals were the letters "BRAVO". I thought long and hard for a second before finally realising the truth. This helicopter belonged to the Bravo Team.

Right, I'm off to get a spli…erm, a coffee, I'll tell you about the attack and how we wound up in some scary yet nicely decorated mansion in a second.


	2. Crazy ass dogs in a field

Oh yeah! That was one long ass break. Sorry to keep you all on the edge of your seat for so long, but I couldn't get the damn blunt to light. Screw it, back to my story.

So I'd just figured out that the messed up helicopter had been piloted by our fellow Bravo team that we've been sent out to find. Sadly, our little game of hide and seek was no longer over as there was no sign of them around the crash site. The rest of the team just stood their and stared at the crash for awhile. Personally, I was getting bored. I mean come on, it's a crash. It's not much fun when there's no dead bodies involved. Well, unless the dead bodies are like, walking towards you and stuff… then it's a different story. Damn it! I keep giving shit away.

The team still stood gazing at the flaming chopper. The yellow blaze was crackling along with the sound of… you know what, I'm not gonna lie to you. Fire is boring as shit. I mean what's the point in…oh, wait a minute, I actually did lie to you. I remember having tons of fun with this flame thrower I picked up later on in the Mansion. At one point I was having so much fun making roast-zombie that I totally forgot about the mission. Though it all eventually came to an end after I burnt my frickin' eye lashes clean off. Plus I was wearing about four layers that night, and the heat emitted from the flame thrower is…you know... hot n' stuff. Yeah. So were all staring at this helicopter, right? Fortunately, Albert was quick on the ball and decided to scope the area. The rest of the team tend to just copy and paste his actions like some sort of…computerized sheep. I don't though. I'm no sheep. I tend to just to go my own way on missions and follow my own heart.

I started to scope the area. I equipped the 9mm Beretta I magically had at the time and began doing my little commando style search. Endless patches of tall fields made the search a lot more fun. I saw Joseph in the distance walking off into the deeper side of the forest. Oh crap! I totally forgot about Joseph! Poor bastard died too soon to even remember. Well in short, Joseph transferred from the Bravo team to the Alpha team coincidently right after I joined STARS. This is what gave me the first impression that he was in fact, a homosexual. I more or less tended to stay clear away from him in case he got the wrong impression. Given my current level of sexiness and physique, I couldn't blame the poor bastard. Sadly I hate gays in general and the idea of any homosexual activity makes me want to…like…jump in front of an oncoming zombie or something. Poor Joseph had wondered off by himself into the midst of the field to investigate.

Wesker had told us to stay within 'parameter', which at the time I didn't have a clue what he was on about. I usually just replied with "Yes sir," and left it at that. We continued to span about the fields, but still found nothing. I was growing weary of this little escapade and sick n' tired of beating 4ft grass out of my path. Just as I couldn't take it anymore, I heard this sudden, loud, queer-like shriek. I immediately turned in Joseph's direction, and caught him holding something in his hand and dropping it to the floor. I was too far away to witness it properly and people keep telling me it was a human hand; but I swear to god I saw him drop some sort of dildo like item! Alas, it doesn't matter. Seconds later I witnessed what became the first traumatizing visual aspect I had ever seen in real life and on television. Three scabby dog-like creatures that were just intensely ripping into his poor gay soul. You could quite literally see his limbs and organs fly right out of place and land with a splat and thud mixture. Every tear of every limb horrifically echoed around the environment as if we were in some large hollow room. Me and the rest of the Alpha team could do nothing but stand and stare at this event. There was nothing more we could do for poor Joseph. I actually felt sorry for the guy…till' I remembered he was gay.

The first to whip out their gun was Barry. He fired a couple of rounds at the dogs but I think he ended up getting Joseph a couple more times in the head by mistake. The poor guy's body was more or less totally abused by now. I had this urge to just walk on over there and kick it a couple of times. Sadly about six scary ass dogs were blocking my path and beginning to charge right at me. Now, this is not something I normally do, but you have to realise I was shit scared…

I ran like crazy! The rest of my team did the same which made me feel less of a shit bag. Oh! Speaking of shit bags, our little friend Brad was still in the helicopter waiting for us while we were on our little search. The second he saw those dogs…the son of a bitch took off! We chased the helicopter for awhile but then realised that he was airborne and we were on terrain. We all stopped and gazed into the sky at the helicopter that had betrayed us. Not before long, I think the 'chickenheart' finally worked up the courage to give us a hand. He did a three point turn and sent the helicopter back in the other direction, flying straight over our heads. At first we thought he was just taking the piss, and I was close to emptying a clip right at its frickin petrol tank. However deep in the mists in front of us was this large blocky, shadowed thing. In a split second we all knew exactly what we were heading for; a mansion. It was either that or get our balls bitten off by these damn cyber-dogs. Well except for Jill, I guess she has it easy. Either way, we sprinted to it while still being pursued by the repulsive canines.

This isn't something I admit very often, but I'll tell you all here and now. Normally, I'm shit scared of dogs. Even those little Jack Russell things make my spine tingle. Now, imagine a dog about ten times bigger with flesh dangling or missing from certain parts of its body. Not to mention some of them still had the remains of Joseph in between their teeth. These dogs were just hungry for living flesh which gave us that little added motivation to keep on running. We were seconds away from the house. We were hoping that Brad-bitch-face would be inside waiting for us as we could no longer hear the sound of the helicopter.

Finally we got to the door. I still remember thinking what we would have done had the door been locked. I guess we were pretty lucky that the owner of a big mansion in the middle of nowhere doesn't give two shits about personal security. That's what we thought at the time anyway. How were we meant to know that he was probably still in there…walking around…looking for something to eat. Hey! I didn't give anything away that time! I think the weed in my systems wearing off. Finally we got to the door. If I had another chance, I would have turned around and wondered where Barry had gotten off to. He was with us through out the entire chase and just before we get into the mansion the guy goes missing. I thought it was just his old age kicking in. We thought nothing of it at the time though since we weren't going to do a stop and search while the dogs were still charging. Wesker and I stood in front of the door firing shots off at the doggies while Jill went for the knob. I mean like…the door knob. The second the door was open we all just stormed through it like cattle closing it behind us seconds before the dogs squeezed through the gap. We had escaped into the mansion, where we thought it was safe. Yet…

Ha, I don't even know why I said that last line…it just felt right saying it for some reason. Right, so now were inside the house. It was just me, Jill and Wesker staring at this really huge main hall. Emotions were running through our… nope. I'm gonna stop right there. I thought I was gonna be okay, but I'm on serious munchies. Must eat. Okay, since there's a lot of the story to go, ill speed things up next time. I'll tell you about how I had to collect these four crests to open this crappy ass door. Honestly looking back, I swear to god I could have just kicked it clean open. Right, it normally takes me about twenty minutes to eat. Apply the marijuana rule which multiplies the original time by three. I thinking I'll be about an hour or so. Till' next time…


End file.
